Thursday, January 7, 2016

Feed me and tell me I’m pretty, or at least quit telling me how big I am...

There is just something about pregnancy that gives people some sort of bizarre permission to break those unmentioned societal rules and tell you to your face how awful you look. Normally such conversation is reserved for celebrities caught without their makeup, or after eating particularly large meals, but apparently pregnancy also warrants such public proclamations of your ugliness.

Unfortunately for the non celebrity humans among us, there is no army of stylists, personal trainers, nutrition experts, cooks, skin care professionals and hair and make up people, to make us look our best most days. So yes, I am getting very wide, and looking very tired these days. I didn’t just spend the holidays on a yacht in St. Barts with a chef and other famous people, I spent it with family, being fed one unhealthy treat after another while I rushed from work event to another, only to finally collapse in my parent’s house in Arizona for a week of lazy recovery and the always relaxing “family time”. I am almost thirty eight, I have a busy family and a busy full time job, even when I am not pregnant I tend to look tired and bloated. That is life people! I don’t really do makeup, you’re lucky that I shower at least once a week. This is as good as I am going to get, so get used to it, be grateful when I am slightly put together and less repulsive.

Get used to it, and don’t talk to me about it, really, seriously. It’s not funny when you compare say my extra large dog now looks like a poodle next to my new girth (that was seriously said). It’s not cute when you point out how much bigger I look, or more tired. I am well aware as is EVERY woman and man too, of my physical imperfections. I am bombarded every day not only with the mirror, but retouched images and plastic surgeries individuals that are supposed to serve as some example of what I should look like instead of the lumpy, dark, baggy eyed person in front of me. My body is growing a freaking person, that is hard work, it’s not going to look great. Pointing out how great it doesn’t look to a hormonal woman is as bad as saying it to a teenage girl, knock it off.

In fact let’s all STOP! Remember that saying, if you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, or to someone, don’t say anything at all? Quit saying it, quit reading it, quit picking up the magazines and watching the segments and clicking on the links that talk about how bad so and so looked, or how much better you could look if only you did....

It’s ridiculous. People are meant to age, meals are meant to be eaten, people gain weight, get wrinkled and saggy, people get bigger when they are pregnant. It happens people, so let’s quit expecting everyone to look good all the time, or let’s quit taking so much notice when they don’t. Let’s watch what we say.

I saw a maternity shirt that said, “Feed me and tell me I’m pretty”.  I think we should pass those out in Hollywood. Maybe if they get to eat and look normal, the rest of us can too.